Life & Play

Say “No” to a New You This Year

Jordan Manfredi
January 19, 2017

New Year, New Me. New Year, New Me. Perhaps if I make it into a singsong mantra it will start to resonate.

But to me, it seems like a daunting task. Why do I need a new me? Aren’t I enough? And the answer is yes, always yes.

The ringing in of a new year can be pressure-filled, as NYE sneaks up on the heels of an ever-buzzing holiday season, filled with an overabundance of triggers and stressors. Yes, nestled between the need tos and should dos is the true magic of the holiday, however finding inner peace and clarity on December 31st, seems to me like a date with disaster.

So how does one cancel on such a date with destiny? You simply say, “No, thank you.” This year, I sat home on Christmas Eve, fighting off that stomach bug while my family drove to New Jersey. Initially, I was riddled with feelings of sadness that I was not there. But, I needed to take care of myself, so that I could take care of others. Fill the well, so to speak. For New Year’s, I continued to marinate in me and said, “thanks but no thanks” to a swanky party invite and instead went to a friend’s snow-covered farm in Vermont, where I rang in the new year, for the first time in a very long time, sober and stilettoless. It was exactly what I wanted and needed.


“New Year’s Day on a cheese farm in Vermont. Yum.”

So what am I getting at? Simply that you don’t need to change at all, but perhaps simply shift. For me, a perpetual people-pleaser, I have found that saying “no”, instead of “yes” has been incredibly empowering. It’s been a shift in my mindset, and has helped me to better understand the quote by Wayne Dyer, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Wanna get deeper? Ok- let’s dance, 2017.

  • What brings you up? What are the things that make you happy? Taking a run, writing, painting, maybe wearing glittery things? Do more of that and don’t find excuses not to. You deserve this, dammit!


Miu Miu | Glitter Sunglasses | Capsule Collection

“Putting on these fabulous glittery designer frames by Miu Miu makes me insta-happy. I keep them close at hand at all times.”

  • What brings you down? Simply thinking about these them might make you go, “ughh”. These are the things that drain you, physically and emotionally. Time to put a metaphorical stopper in them ASAP, before you start circling the drain. Find ways to expose yourself less to these leach-like activities, or if possible, eliminate them completely.
  • What feeds your soul? This might be a tricky one, as pursuits of passion can be quite elusive. Are you responding to this question with a, “Uhhh, I dunno? You’re not alone. But let’s try this on for size– ask yourself, what am I passionate about? What drives me a tab bit crazy and keeps me up at night? The first thing that pops into your mind could be a clue. Start there. Yes, we are all busy living our ordinary day-to-day lives but feeding your soul should be a priority, because darling- you are extraordinary. Even the simple act of researching and learning more can be the first step in a journey of a lifetime.

Need more examples? Happy to oblige. Something I’m proud of this year? I made a personal commitment to only work with companies and people that inspire me by what they do for others. I work with mentors, female-empowering brands and doctors. Cohen’s Fashion Optical is prime example of a company that is giving back. I love that they recently donated holiday gifts to The Bristol-Meyers Squibb Children’s Hospital at Robert Wood Johnson. This motivates me and makes me proud to be apart of their good work. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe so surround yourself with positivity-inside and out. Here is to your best year yet!

   “The Cohen’s family giving back to those in need.”